20 Questions for Reflection

or Discussion Questions for Book Clubs

(click for a pdf)

Part 1: Escaping the Pain

1. In her attempt to escape the pain, Patti went on a Caribbean cruise, got involved with a Norwegian lover, drank too much, and tried to avoid thinking about her problems. What do you do to try to escape the pain in your life, and how does that work for you?

2. Patti’s third cruise had similarities to the Titanic. All the glamour and romance yet heading for a hidden iceberg. What situation in your life is putting you on a similar collision course, and how do you need to change direction?

3. Why do you think Patti’s physical relationship with Jan far exceeded her relationship with her husband? How could this awareness impact your marriage for good?

4. The influence of Patti’s dad resulted in her fears of being abandoned or betrayed by someone she loved. What are some of your biggest fears in terms of romantic relationships?

5. What cultural lies did Patti start to accept when deciding to become physically involved with Jan, and how did they cause her tremendous pain? How do you think people try to do this today?

6. Many today try to separate their emotions from a physical relationship. How is that problematic?

7. Patti also wanted someone who made family a high priority and someone worthy of her trust. What characteristics do you long for in your Prince Charming?

8. As reality set in, how did Patti’s attempt to escape the pain work out?

Part 2: Embracing the Pain

9. After she came into a relationship with Jesus, Patti still struggled with old sinful ways of trying to avoid pain. Patti used the train imagery to get back on track and stay there. How could that imagery make a difference in the way you run your life?

10. Discuss or reflect on how dying to “self” and surrendering to Christ can change your life?

11. Many people call Jesus their Savior, but struggle to make Him the Lord of their lives. What position does He have in your life, and is that enough to give you peace and keep you secure? Why or why not?

12. Patti experienced the whisperings of the Holy Spirit on many occasions. How have you experienced the leading of the Holy Spirit and what difference has that made?

13. Identify some of the ways that Jesus convinced Patti over the years of His constant presence and care. In what ways have you seen Christ’s care for you even if you didn’t recognize it at the time?

14. What are the significance and benefit of the anchors in Patti’s story?

15. Losing her marriage, her sons moving away, a failing business, and almost losing her home could have destroyed Patti. How did the imagery of the Windblown Girl figurine help her not turn to self-destructive habits in her pain and grief?

16. How does being created in the image of God impact your identity (self), your sexuality, and social issues (justice)?

17. Reflect on the imagery of the Windblown Girl figurine. How does it inspire you and give you hope?