Do you ever tell yourself, “I need chocolate?” Or wine? Or beer? Or . . . [fill in the blank?] For me recently that blank has included not only chocolate, but also pasta, bread, and wine. It’s a wonder I don’t weigh 300 lbs. This past few weeks, life’s ferocious winds just about blew me away with circumstances out of my control. A grievous situation resulted in a terrible injustice for someone I care deeply about, and I wanted comfort. Clarifying the principles I needed to remember brought my behavior back under control without too much damage, so I’m thinking maybe they’ll help you, too. And, writing them down will help us focus on better choices.

Tell Yourself the Truth

For some years, I struggled with chocolate, but that has gotten much better. Over the past several years I’ve made a determined effort to stop lying to myself about it. For me, the truth is that chocolate can be addicting. If I eat very much of it, I have a hard time stopping–I want more and more. In reality it only satisfies me for a few minutes–and it has the potential to make me fat. And, that’s bad for my health, not to mention the way I look. More often I let myself slide with carbs, but that produces similar problems. The comfort is only temporary and if I eat too much, I can’t sleep at night. Besides that, my clothes start getting too tight making me uncomfortable.

More than a decade ago, I realized that the only reason I ate cheesecake was because it was supposed to be a treat. Truth be told, I really didn’t care that much about it one way or the other. Most of the time when I tell myself the truth, I may take a bite or two, but I don’t need to eat the whole piece.

However, there are occasions when I really want to be in denial. That’s what happened this time and I needed to face the reality of where genuine comfort comes from.

Real Stress-Relievers

• Getting outdoors. For me, gardening has a way of comforting my soul. Being in the outdoors while nurturing blooming plants or hard-pruning roses has a way of lowering my frustrations or helping me figure out how to deal with a crisis. Taking a walk can also clear my head. By not giving in to the temptation to listen to a podcast or music, the quiet of both gardening and walking gives me a chance to talk to God and listen for His voice. Breathing fresh air, seeing the autumn leaves, and marveling at the mountains reminds me that God’s in control and sustains my life as well as the lives of those I care about. He has plans and purposes I can’t see and being outside in his creation opens up my thinking in creative ways.

• Maintaining the discipline of a physical work out. Hard exercise is one of my best practices for dealing with trying times. Sometimes walking isn’t enough and I need something that expends more energy. That’s when I clear my family room, set up  my step, and turn on a YouTube video. Exercising to my favorite step aerobics class or repetitions with light weights reduces the stress to a more tolerable level. Even better is going to the L.A. Fitness where I can interact with my gym friends and get hugs when I need them. 

• Maintaining the discipline of a spiritual workout. Going to church every Sunday has cultivated a habit that helps me work through most of life’s stressful situations. Quite often those circumstances involve the need to forgive someone. Or love someone who has wronged me. Or removing bitterness when I’d much prefer unloading on someone who has caused a deep wound. Hearing the pastor’s sermons, seeing my Christian friends, and being in an environment where others face similar struggles reminds me that I want to be more like Jesus. (Online church doesn’t offer nearly the same benefits as being in community.) In addition to attending church, learning to apply God’s Word at Bible Study Fellowship has probably prolonged my life more than any other thing I’ve done. It helped jump-start the daily discipline of praying and paying attention to an eternal worldview instead of living according to cultural standards that lead to many stress-filled situations with serious consequences. And, it also has provided such strong friendships that they still remain more than three decades later.

Remember who’s in control. 

Sometimes I want to “fix” things. When I can’t, that creates stress. And, that can tempt me to seek comfort in ways that really don’t satisfy and do more harm than good. Focusing on God’s character instead lifts my spirit in ways that help me sleep at night.

The reason The Windblown Girl stands strong in life’s storms is because her identity is secure in Christ. She knows Jesus, our Creator, Lord, and Savior is faithful. He is always good. He is the Guardian and Shepherd of our souls. That’s far more satisfying than chocolate, pasta, or wine.