Do you have trouble giving yourself permission to walk into the good? Like maybe taking a trip that costs a lot of money. Or buying a house because the payments seem a little out of reach? Or maybe it’s doing a remodel, or buying new shoes that cost more than you’ve ever spent before. Some people spend more than they have, but some among us (like me) are too afraid to spend what they have on something good because they may need the money for something more important.

Or maybe it’s not financial fears that restrain you from walking into the good, but the realization that you may not be capable of navigating a particular situation. That was the case for my mom. She wanted to move to Boston for a year when in her mid-forties, but was too afraid of what might go wrong. Although she could afford it, she regretted until her dying day that she never got braces. And, she refused to travel by herself. That could have been me if I hadn’t gotten to know Jesus.

Letting the “Shouldn’ts” Become “Shoulds”

The first time I remember needing help with walking into the good was about a decade after my adventure with Jesus began. He changed me from playing it safe to taking calculated risks. That still boggles my mind. In my book The Windblown Girl: A Memoir about Self, Sexuality, and Social Issues, I tell the story of remodeling our home. The thought of it was daunting because my (ex)husband and I decided I’d do the general contracting with my brother-in-law’s guidance. That also meant we needed to come up with a workable plan. And, I hand to handle the building inspections. (You can read more details in my book, if you haven’t already.)

But I already had gained some confidence in decision-making after trusting Christ. When we bought our home, we knew the monthly payment was a bit of a stretch. (Again, a calculated risk.) Yet, we did it despite our fears, and that was the smartest financial move we ever made. So was the remodel, which my mother strongly advised against. No longer were my concerns (or a parent) dictating my well-being and preventing me from walking into the good. While I prayed and paid attention to God’s guidance, many of those “you shouldn’t do this” voices became “yes you should.”

James 1:5-6 had begun directing my decision-making.

 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But he must ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind

Finding God’s wisdom required me to die (or let go of) my own self-directed understanding. Choosing to continue to have faith in the wisdom given wasn’t always easy, but it was liberating. 

Being Set Free

Many times, I’ve rightfully had to tell myself “No.” For years, money was extremely tight. Now that there’s a little financial wiggle-room, in many ways, I struggle with some of the same issues my mother did. Knowing what it’s like not to have enough money, I prefer to leave what I do have in the bank. If I can avoid it, I don’t usually take risks where I’m not in control of the situation. Traveling is the same way. Especially since the pandemic. But even before, I really struggled with the idea of going places where I didn’t know anyone. 

Perhaps you’ve read about my trip to Whidbey Island. That was a huge step outside of my comfort zone. I never could have taken it apart from faith in Jesus. But by dying to myself and living unto Christ, I was set free to experience unfathomable wonders. (The photo on that post is worth a thousand words.) And, I conquered some of my greatest fears. That’s the vibrant life. It’s living life in Technicolor kind of like this clip from the Wizard of Oz. It’s going from predictable to unimaginable splendor. Instead of shutting down our world, trusting Christ as the Lord of our lives opens it up beyond our wildest dreams. What we lose is nothing compared to the benefits of being set free to live extraordinary lives.

From Giving Up to Gaining

“Dying to self” sounds scary. Does that mean we lose the “me” that is “me”? A thousand, a trillion times No! Nothing could be further from the truth.

Still, letting go of my way of doing things and living according to God’s ways only happened when I became determined to give up the chaos that came with trying to find my own pleasure. Yet making that choice has made me more me than I ever could have imagined. When I trust Jesus as the “Way, the Truth, and the Life,” I become all I was created to be. And, I wouldn’t trade that for anything. 

With my eyes on Jesus instead of my own desires, I lost most of my fear, well at least enough that I can move forward with courage. I don’t even have to fear death because He already paid the price for my sins. All of them. Every one I ever committed and every one I ever will commit. Believe me that’s a daily struggle. But because Jesus took the judgment I deserved, I’ll live with Him in eternity.

Still I’m highly motivated to stay in the Truth, because I make way better choices. These decisions have led me to travel by myself and even to invest in myself. It was a risk to self-publish my book. Also to pay for the marketing course that taught me how to develop this website and my blog. Had I not done that, readers might have missed out. But not as much as me because I couldn’t have clarified the lessons that continually expand my life’s meaning and purpose. Writing these posts solidify the lessons I’ve learned and keep me looking forward instead of getting caught up in the world’s chaos and the futility of trying to fuel my own desires.

There’s a cost involved with following Jesus. Giving up my ways for His may at times be scary, but gaining technicolor results make it unthinkable to do anything else.

Do you live a technicolor life? If not, why not?