Many people are devastated by the deplorable behavior of Ravi Zacharias. How could someone, considered by many to be Christianity’s leading apologist, be so deceptive? Maybe you’re among those starting to question: “Is the Church filled with hypocrites, who say one thing and do another? “Is his failure a good reason to avoid Jesus? The Church?” “When Christ’s followers commit such atrocities, what does this say about a biblical worldview?”

While pondering the implications, I realized the problem is not with God, but with human beings. And, the culture we’ve created.

When Christian Leaders Fail

For good reason, we expect Christian leaders to build nice orderly intricate works of art, a beautiful complex network of serving people. Yet some, like Zacharias, weave tangled webs–filled with lies, deceptive secrets, and abusive behavior. He’s not the only one. In a Christianity Today article, published January 6, 2021, author David Robertson listed additional ministry leaders along with their organizations:

Bill Hybels and Willow Creek, Ravi Zacharias, Steve Timmis and Acts 29, Hillsong New York City pastor Carl Lentz, James MacDonald and Harvest Bible Chapel. 

While working on a blog post in 2019, Julie Roys and I uncovered devastating spiritual abuse perpetrated by ministry leaders at Harvest Bible Chapel. Allegations against Bill Hybels were no less shocking. Their ongoing denial is equally disgusting. In the face of such egregious behavior, it’s easy to become disillusioned and blame the faith. Yet considering biblical admonitions about sin, maybe we shouldn’t be so surprised. 

In his CT article, Robertson explained the hash reality:

Because human beings are still sinful and the combination of money, power, influence and sex remains toxic, systems which largely ape the culture around will end up with the same problems as that culture. What makes it worse in the Church, is that this is done in the name of Christ!

Unfortunately, too often, instead of following the commands of Christ, broken leaders and followers in the Church mimic our very dysfunctional hypersexualized and egocentric culture. And, that’s why individual Christians must do all they can to expose the lies our society promotes and exchange them for a biblical worldview where people are actually transformed to become more like Jesus.

Trying to Escape Life’s Pain

Many years ago, as a new believer, I clung to cultural standards while trying to escape life’s pain. Those values dictated self-indulgent behavior. To cope with a life out of my control, I lied. Cheated. Manipulated others. And indulged in illicit sex. By God’s amazing grace, those things ultimately increased my pain until I could no longer deny it. (Perhaps I was blessed not to have fame or fortune.)

In addition, I wanted to lead my young son well and realized my behavior set a terrible example, one that could eventually reap undesirable consequences.

That fierce struggle to exchange cultural mores for biblical standards put me in good company. Saint Augustine was born in North Africa in AD 354. His conflict and mine reflected Adam and Eve’s predicament in the garden of Eden. That’s where Adam and Eve decided they knew better than God and believed Satan’s subtle lies. By choosing to rebel against their Creator, they chose death.

So, now we all share their struggle of who to listen to: St. Augustine. Zacharias. Hybels. MacDonald. Me. And, you. The wrong voice in our heads impacts our will and may compel us to do things our own way. Enhanced by messages from a godless society, that battle rages against what we know to be true and right and good until left unchecked, it takes on the power to convince us that we can do whatever we please without consequences. Especially when we have money, fame, and power. When Christian leaders fail, it’s because they’ve embraced Satan’s lies and indulged their egocentric behavior.

But we don’t have to give in to the compulsions that drove people like Zacharias and others who abuse and devastate their followers. We can decide to listen to Jesus and become a better example whether we’re uber famous or only a role model to a few.

Embracing Life’s Pain

In his book, Confessions, St. Augustine talked honestly to God about being set free from this fierce spiritual battle:

You saw how deep I was sunk in death, and it was your power that drained dry the well of corruption in the depths of my heart. And all that you asked of me was to deny my own will and accept yours (p. 181).

After a ferocious and lengthy struggle, Augustine finally surrendered his will to embrace the Lord’s. He described an incredible release from that battle with his flesh:

At last my mind was free from the gnawing anxieties of ambition and gain, from wallowing in filth and scratching the itching sore of lust. I began to talk to you freely, O Lord my God, my Light, my Wealth, and my Salvation (p. 181).

As a young adult, my conflicted soul walked a similar tortuous path. For a couple of years after meeting Jesus, I struggled to maintain control—to do things my way. Although I realized Jesus loved me enough to die for me; I continued smoking, drinking too much, and seeking comfort in a man’s arms. Yet my angst grew to the point that one day after hurting myself too many times, I finally gave up. In that moment, I surrendered my will and decided to do things God’s way instead of my own. Keeping that vow has been challenging, but I’ve never regretted it or looked back.

Dying to My “Self”

Singing along with Amy Grant’s rendition of “I Have Decided to Follow Jesus,” over and over again, cemented that decision in my mind.  Releasing a self held captive to sin set me free from denial and led me into the Truths in God’s Word. Although I’m far from perfect, being honest about my bad behavior keeps me in right relationship with Jesus Christ. That honesty  is a daily decision-making process but trying my best to embrace Christ’s commands has resulted in a vibrant life complete with the lavish riches of eternal values–peace, love, unity, and respect. Hope, light, and truth. When occasionally I stumble, the grace of a sovereign God is enough. Being a deliberate Christ follower has also placed me in God’s family–the Church. With Christ as it’s cornerstone, the Church is precious to the Lord, so that means it needs to be precious to me as well.

When Christian leaders fail, we can rest assured that one day our Father will separate out those who were imposters. In time, He will judge those who have abused others without remorse. Those who continued to be driven by sex, lies, and their own egos.

Some never renounce self. Whether brilliant scholars or charismatic Pied Pipers with a huge following, self-indulgence creates a tangled web of deception. When Christian leaders fail; they bully, cover up sinful behavior, and abuse those most vulnerable in a multitude of ways. They don’t reflect Jesus Christ, and all their good works won’t compensate for the denial of their behavior. Or the way they’ve devastated the people who believed in them. Still, just as we all do, at any point they have the option to repent and embrace new life in Christ.

What does your struggle with self-indulgence look like? If you die to self, what “pleasures” are you afraid of losing? Can faith in Jesus Christ overcome your fears?

If you’ve made that choice to die to self, please share it (or anything else on your mind) in the comments.

An additional resource helpful for thinking through our own behavior:

“In the Wake of Ravi Zacharias’s Sexual Abuse of Women” by Randy Alcorn