Have you ever felt compelled to tell a little lie for a really good reason? Your friend would be hurt if she knew the real reason you didn’t invite her to the party. You want to avoid another lecture from your parents. Or you really needed that day off work, so you called in sick. Everyone else does it, why shouldn’t you?

Our Culture Normalizes Little Lies

Journalists fact check to expose the lies our government leaders tell to get votes. Then, “fact checkers” may distort the truth to bolster their political agenda. It seems very few care anymore about the truth. Lies permeate society to the point where they have become the expectation.

Advertisers lie to compel us to buy their products: Mercedes Benz touts “Experience the Luxury You Deserve.” Yet, you have to wonder–do you deserve a car payment you can’t afford and all the stress that comes along with it every month?”

On Facebook, Hersheys claims: “You deserve a treat every day” even though obesity is a contributing factor in numerous health risks. And friends sometimes share posts even after others have proven them to be false.

Even the educational system cultivates lying. A school safety brochure instructs parents to teach their children to lie when home alone. “Have your child tell the stranger you are taking a bath, taking a nap or lying down because you don’t feel well.” No one bothered to present honest alternatives such as: “My mom can’t come to the phone right now.” Or “Never open the door to a stranger.”

God Hates Lying

So if everyone does it, are little lies really that bad? Proverbs 6:16-17 provides insight into this question:

There are six things the Lord hates—
    no, seven things he detests:
haughty eyes,
a lying tongue,
hands that kill the innocent

Why does God hate lying? And, does that include little lies or just the whoppers?

Little Lies Destroy Trust

In his book, Honesty, Morality, and Conscience, Jerry White explained the problem:

Lies destroy trust, and once trust is gone, a relationship is difficult to restore. Yet the habit of lying can develop so subtly that it goes un-noticed. We begin by lying about ‘small’ things that ‘don’t matter.’ Then we develop a pattern. Soon valuable credibility and friendship are lost.”

That insight has kept people reading White’s book since 1979.

Stable Relationships Require Honesty

Jesus Christ can be trusted with everything that concerns us because as the Living Word, He embodies Truth. In John 14:6 Jesus says: “I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me.” Because Jesus is not only a man, but God himself; he cannot lie. That means we can trust his promises. What he says, he does.

From ancient days, people recognized that reality. In Psalm 119, the psalmist wrote: “All your words are true; all your righteous laws are eternal.” Hundreds of years later, that truth came alive (and remains alive) in Jesus.

Truth builds a rock-solid foundation to stand on. It doesn’t matter if a million people believe a lie, it’s still a lie. And, because of the damage a lie can do, it needs exposing. In politics, they can lead groups of people to make poor choices–left or right. In advertising, they can set individuals up for self-destructive behavior.

Regardless, some people would rather believe and perpetuate a lie that serves their purposes (e.g., fallacious Facebook posts). Being honest with myself can also be an issue. I still wrestle with the message that I deserve some chocolate or a glass of wine. And, maybe I always will, but I’m working on it. A specific relationship Jesus introducted in John 14:16-17 helps:

And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Counselor to be with you forever–the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept Him, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him. But you know Him, for He lives with you and will be in you.

Though brutal honesty makes me uncomfortable at times, I treasure my relationship with the Holy Spirit because he’s always honest with me when I’m willing to listen. The unvarnished truth is of inestimable worth if I’ll simply receive it. And, I can ask his help with that as well.

Time after time, I’ve asked the Holy Spirit to help me figure out how to navigate difficult situations when I’m tempted to lie. And, I make a similar request when I need the lies in my own life to be exposed–whether they’re coming from our culture, a friend, or the ones I tell myself. That keeps me from destructive deceptions. And, that makes me want to be a trustworthy friend.

Truth builds character that stabilizes relationships with trust. Whoever said, “honesty is the best policy”–wasn’t lying.